I spent 8 days from the time I was matched with Josiah until my baby came home. Those 8 days were incredibly difficult. When I thought about him, my stomach literally hurt. All I could think about was having him home so that I could love on him and fatten him up. I knew he was getting decent care in the hospital, but it wasn't the same. He wasn't getting loved by his Mommy and Daddy. I just kept thinking that every day he spent there, away from us, would make his bonding and attachment much more difficult.
Although I hated those 8 days, I'm so thankful I was able to experience them. Those 8 days helped me understand a small piece of what our adoptive families feel every day.
I know the adoptive Moms reading this right now are thinking I have no idea, I had to wait 8 days while many of them have already waited 18 months and still don't have their child home.
I would assume that in some ways, my waiting period was much harder, but in many ways it was much easier!
I am so thankful that I was able to go see my baby everyday. To give Josiah hugs and kisses. To ask the nurses how he was drinking and to get a daily update on his weight. Being able to see him during this time was a huge blessing. But every time I visited, I also had to leave, which broke my heart. It was so difficult to leave my LITTLE bundle of joy there. It was hard to know that I was only 15 minutes away from Josiah but wasn't allowed to take him home. I was so close, yet so far away!
I knew the quality of care Josiah was getting, and therefore was able to sleep a little better at night. Had I never seen where he was living, as most of our adoptive parents have not, I would have been a wreck thinking of all the possible things that could have gone wrong. I would probably have assumed he was in the worst place imaginable and drove myself crazy worrying about him.
I was also blessed to be able to build a strong relationship with the nurses who were caring for him. It's possible that we might have bribed them with drinks at least once to try and get on their good side. I was able to thank them every day for caring for my little man while I couldn't, and I was also able to remind them every single day how much I loved him and that they therefore should too. I'm glad I was able to communicate with them and know their culture well enough to know how far I could and couldn't push the discharge conversation! We were able to joke with them and shared a few laughs, which we all enjoyed! They went from calling me the usual 'Lagossette' (the village we live in) to 'Nikki!'
I think of all our adoptive families who have no idea who is caring for their child. Who would love to be able to shower them with gifts to show their appreciation and who would give anything to remind them that their child is loved and a part of someones family. Our parents would give anything to know how their child ate and how they were doing every single day. For these things I am beyond blessed.
Now when I hear of adoptive parents worrying about things that seem ridiculous to me, I will have a little more understanding and compassion for what they are going through.
To our adoptive parents out there, know that although we would love to get your child home to you ASAP, they really are in a great place! We have some AMAZING women who care for them daily. We are doing the best we can to honor these women and help them feel appreciated, which directly affect the care they provide to your little one! We are trying the best we can to process their paperwork quickly. Know that your child is being showered in love and that our nannies pray for your babies and for you EVERY SINGLE DAY!
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