Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Open Adoptions

I have known all my life that I have wanted to adopt, and I have always said that I wanted to do an open adoption (where the biological parents are still able to have contact with the child) because I feel that this is in the best interest of a child.  In my opinion, it's beneficial for them to know where they came from and who their parents are.  However, this is one of those things that is easy to talk about, but much harder in real life.

Eventz and his Biological Mom
Yesterday Eventz Mom came to visit for the first time without us asking her to come for paperwork.  She lives over an hour away, so she is not able to come often as it is expensive to get here.  She spent 4 hours here with him, and I was nervous the entire time.  Until our adoption is complete, she can change her mind and take him back at any time, even if he had been living with us for several years.  We have not yet told her that we are going to adopt him but I feel that after we do I won't be so nervous when she comes to visit.  We are going to tell her real soon, but want to do it together.  Probably with in the next few weeks.

I'm not positive, but I think our nannies may have already told her that Nick and I are going to adopt him because she referred to me as his Mom on 3 different occasions.  There could be a lot of reasons for this, including that she knows I am taking care of him, and therefore playing the part of his "mom" for the time being.  Our nannies have referred to me as Mom of several of our kids who have stayed with me in the past, so this would not be uncommon.  either that or it could be the fact that I peeked out the window at them about every 10 minutes the entire time she was here.  This was the first time he has been out of my sight since I have gotten back.

While she was here, she told Amy that she wants to take him to her church to get dedicated.  I am all for this, but I think I would be more comfortable if we took him and met her there.  Plus, I want to be there when my child is dedicated as well!  Before she left, she told me that the next time she comes she wants to talk with me, but not this time cause she knew I had to put Eventz down for his nap.  I am unsure of what she wants to talk about.

Over all though, I am very glad that she still shows interest in her (our) son and that she wants to do what is best for him.  No matter what, Eventz will always know that she loves him and that she would literally do anything for him, including the extremely difficult decision of adoption.  As long as she is willing, we want her to be apart of his life.

This is what Eventz does while Mommy writes blogs about him.
He's his fathers child, can sleep through anything!
On another note, Eventz began to say mom and mama today!  It is super cute.  He isn't saying it in reference to me, just babbling, but I still love it!!  One of our nannies heard it today and was excited with me!  And then at lunch he was saying dada repetitively and I said "no, mama." and he looked right at me and said mama!  I have been working all week on getting him to say this, so I defiantly feel successful now!  The other little girl staying with me even tells him "no daddy.  Mama" every time she hears him say dada.  We can't wait for Daddy to come home and hear him say this and see how big he has gotten!  Plus he has a special outfit his Daddy bought for him and he is about to outgrow it, so Nick needs to get home soon to see him in it!

Please pray for Nick to have safe travels!  He leaves Portland tomorrow, but will likely have trouble crossing the DR/Haiti border and could have to stay in the DR for several days or maybe even a week or longer.  More on this later.

1 comment:

  1. What a lucky little boy to have two mom's that love him so much!!! One that loves him enough to give him up and another that loves him enough to let his birth mom be in his life.
    Loves to you and Eventz

    Aunt Dana